


Beautiful Goodbye (or is it not?)

by Anonymous



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Based on Jongdae's Beautiful Goodbye, I love Chanyeol and Kyungsoo and Jongdae, I love all the characters stated here, I would add more tags but that would be spoilers, M/M, Minor Character Death, Please Don't Hate Me, Please Don't Kill Me, Please take the archive warning seriously, Romance, bad writing lmao, i truly do
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2020-02-10 23:23:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18670462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Kyungsoo said he wants to break up.Chanyeol agrees.By end of April, they are breaking up.





	Beautiful Goodbye (or is it not?)

**Author's Note:**

> It's still the First of May at my place so!!!!! I hope yall still up for some angst based on Jongdae's Beautiful Goodbye ;))  
> I wrote this during first week of April, contemplated with the ending so I only manage to finish it today. Also, a warning. I don't beta it.
> 
> Another warning: Please take the Archive Warning seriously.
> 
> P/S: Please please please tell me what yall think of it at the comment section. I would REALLY love to see comments even if they are the bad ones.
> 
> PP/S: This fic is from Chanyeol's pov.

It’s almost April.

The cold weather is slightly tolerable now that the spring is almost here. Despite both being born when it was winter, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo are definitely different, what with Chanyeol liking the winter so much and Kyungsoo really hates it. And that is one of the million things that makes them different.

Chanyeol used to think that these differences are what make me them compatible as lovers, that it makes the relationship fun, the dynamic between them that is.

But now that he looks at Kyungsoo who is sitting in front of him, eating silently, he isn’t sure if that’s what Kyungsoo also thinks. Now that he thought about it, Kyungsoo has never denied him of anything he asks the other to do — even when Kyungsoo hates winter so much, he still follows Chanyeol to Japan just to snowboarding. The trip was fun to Chanyeol and he assumes Kyungsoo likes it too, since Kyungsoo listened to him well when he was teaching him how to snowboard.

It’s not like Kyungsoo will answer him if he ever asks Kyungsoo about it, if he enjoys it or not, anyway.

If there’s anything that frustrates him about Kyungsoo, it’s that. He barely talks to him about his thoughts. Chanyeol has a really hard time to figure out what Kyungsoo thinks all of the time. He asks, he always asks but Kyungsoo shrugs him off most of the time.

Despite what others think of him — mostly of him being a puppy that’s always eager to please, eager to do stuffs or in a word, dumb, he KNOWS. He knows how Kyungsoo struggles to keep up with him. He can see how Kyungsoo is tired of him. He isn’t that dumb.

It has been three years since they started dating, and eight years since they first met at the train; they used to share the same train and always got out at the same station too, Chanyeol was the one who approached Kyungsoo first and they had been friends ever since before one day, when they were hanging out at Chanyeol’s place, Chanyeol kissed him, out of the heat of finally beating Baekhyun at same play station game.

Now that Chanyeol actually thinks of it, Kyungsoo was even more interactive when they were just friends and not dating each other.

Honestly, Chanyeol doesn’t know where he did wrong. He never changes. Chanyeol acts the same way he was even when they were friends. He doesn’t know what makes Kyungsoo changes. He asked Kyungsoo about it but Kyungsoo never tells him anything and Chanyeol is so frustrated he can’t make the other talks to him.

Glancing at the envelope on the table beside his plate, filled with two flight tickets to Japan, Chanyeol lets out a silent huff. This will be his last attempt to save their relationship. He really hopes this will work. Chanyeol loves Kyungsoo way too much to let him go.

Putting down his chopsticks, Chanyeol clears his throat to get the other’s attention.

“So uhm, Kyungsoo..”

Kyungsoo looks up from his plate, his eyes calculated, a wary look on his face.

“I-it’s gonna be spring soon... and I don’t know, I... uhm- the flowers are gonna be pretty right?” He lets out an awkward laugh as he said that. Coughing lightly, he continues. “L-let’s go to Japan to see the cherry blo-“

“Let’s break up.”

Kyungsoo said, cutting Chanyeol from his words. He looks resolute, like he has thought about it for a long time, like he really wants to do that, like he is so so so tired of Chanyeol.

Chanyeol lets out a staggered sigh, he clenches his hands to hold himself back. Kyungsoo has never asked for anything while they are in relationship for three years and Chanyeol can’t say he doesn’t expect the first thing Kyungsoo asks of him is a break up, their relationship is failing anyway. If he wants to save their relationship, he should at least give Kyungsoo what he wants. Maybe when they break up, they can at least be friends like how they used to be. Chanyeol knows he is wishfully thinking but he doesn’t want to wish for anything else.

With what courage he has left, Chanyeol said, “Kyungsoo.... l-let’s just stay together until May... let’s... let’s break up when April ends, yeah?”

Chanyeol stretches his hand out to take Kyungsoo’s hand in his. He notes how cold Kyungsoo’s hand feels in his, how it trembles slightly. Kyungsoo must be nervous, it must have taken a lot of courage for Kyungsoo to say it. Chanyeol really can’t deny what Kyungsoo wants from him, not when it takes Kyungsoo this much courage to say it.

“Let’s go to Tokyo, visit your friend’s restaurant, eat good food, and watch cherry blossoms. Or we can even stay indoor if you want. We don’t have to go outside.”

Looking at Kyungsoo directly at his eyes, Chanyeol continues. “L-Let’s break up with us smiling... not.. not like this, yeah? Let’s break up now with any bitter memories... yeah?”

It is silent between them. The only sound that is heard is from the air purifier.

After what feels like eternity, Kyungsoo lets out a small sigh. “Yeah... yeah let’s do that.”

——

It’s April.

The first week of April is spent with them going to Japan. It almost feels like nothing is changing between them, what with Kyungsoo still laughs at his joke, how they hold hand while they walk close to each other, how they kiss.

Almost.

Chanyeol knows Kyungsoo cries himself to sleep.

Last night he heard the soft sniffs and saw how Kyungsoo trembled when he was lying beside him, his back facing Chanyeol.

Chanyeol doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know how to comfort Kyungsoo, not when Kyungsoo refuses to tell him anything.

When he noticed Kyungsoo already slept after crying, he got off from bed, adjusted Kyungsoo’s blanket, took his cardigan and he went out of their room to the hotel’s bar.

When he came back to their room, it was already 8am and Kyungsoo was awaked. They were supposed to go to Kyungsoo’s friend restaurant but Chanyeol was too hung over to go so he told Kyungsoo he will meet him at the park to see the cherry blossoms.

He saw the disapproving look on Kyungsoo but the other silently said okay.

Chanyeol kinda wishes for Kyungsoo to be mad at him then, yell at him or just anything. As long as Kyungsoo speaks his thought.

Now that he stands beside Kyungsoo, watching him watching the cherry blossoms, he feels his eyes watered. Squinting his eyes, he quickly wipes the tears with his sleeve before he tightens his hold on Kyungsoo’s hand.

He doesn’t want to let go of this hand.

He wishes April never ends.

——

It’s still April.

It’s the second week of April now.

Chanyeol gets off work a little late today, some project is due in two days and he and his team have yet to finish it.

When he gets home, the first thing he saw is Kyungsoo sitting on the couch, a playstation controller in his hand.

Kyungsoo looks at him, sheepish smile on his face.

“Hey uhm.. welcome home.. if you aren’t too tired, do you uhh.. want to play this game with me?”

The sight has Chanyeol feels weird. When he was on his way home, he thought of taking a long, warm bath before he cooked something for himself to eat, if Kyungsoo didn’t cook anything. He was too tired and too hungry.

Kyungsoo has never initiates something for three years they are in relationship. This, this is the first time he does this. It somehow both pleases and saddens Chanyeol, that Kyungsoo is trying to make their break up not a painful one. But Kyungsoo’s invitation makes him feel happy nonetheless. He was tired and hungry before but seeing Kyungsoo’s effort now, he doesn’t feel so anymore.  
Chanyeol puts his briefcase on the coffee table, his hand taking off his tie before he unbuttons the top button of his shirt, blazer and coat are taken off and placed on the couch.

With a grin so huge on his face, he takes a place beside Kyungsoo and said, “I’m so gonna beat you.”

——

It’s still April.

It’s the third week of April now.

Their relationship improved greatly last week. It feels like how they were eight years before and Chanyeol likes it so so so much.

They even discussed who is going to have the house, the car and everything else they co-owned.

They argued a bit about the house but then it was decided that Kyungsoo will get the house, the house is near his work anyway so it’s more convenient this way. Chanyeol gets the car and the money in the bank account they own together will be split into two. Chanyeol reminds himself to put a lot more funds in the bank account by this week so that Kyungsoo can buy stuffs for the house. Most of the furnitures in the house are Chanyeol’s and Kyungsoo insists for him to take it. Chanyeol just agrees because he doesn’t want to argue with Kyungsoo. By depositing more money in the account, he can indirectly provide Kyungsoo. This is the least he can do.

Chanyeol tries to find a new house near his work but house hunting is harder than what he initially thought. It’s hard to find house that he truly likes. Even with their current house, he let Kyungsoo chose it, simply because he doesn’t know which one to choose. He will stay at Jongdae (a Planning Manager at his work, a friend)’s place first anyway and the other said he can stay as long as he wants to because Jongdae apparently is a chaebol and has too many rooms in his luxurious and spacious condominium.

It’s the weekend and they are both off work. Chanyeol is currently packing his stuffs while sitting cross legged on the floor, his back hurts from sitting for a long time. God why does he have so many stuffs?? He is moving out next week and he honestly doesn’t know if he can finish packing his stuffs.

Well at least Kyungsoo helps him packing. Maybe Kyungsoo can accompany him to house hunting later. He should ask.

“Hey uhm Soo, do you want to accompany me to house hunting? I swear to god it is so damn hard to find one decent place to stay maybe you can help me decide?” Chanyeol asks before he turns to look at Kyungsoo.

However, the sight totally takes Chanyeol off guard. Kyungsoo is crying so hard silently, his hand holding a photo album of them. It was when Chanyeol had a huge interest with cameras, he would take pictures of anything but his most common subject is Kyungsoo.

Chanyeol drops the stuff he is holding before he quickly shuffles to Kyungsoo. “Soo...” he calls out softly before he wraps his arms around Kyungsoo, pulling the smaller closer to him, his palm on the back of Kyungsoo’s head, stroking it.

“I-I’m sorry... I’m sorry.... I’m really sorry.....” Kyungsoo continuously chants as he cries harder.

Chanyeol hugs him tighter, muttering comforting words of ‘It’s okay’, ‘You did nothing wrong’.

 

Kyungsoo finally stops crying after two hours and Chanyeol carries him to the bedroom. He lets Kyungsoo sleeps while lying next to him, on his side.

Stroking his hair softly, Chanyeol lets out a soft sigh. They are going to break up next week and despite there is still time, they are both working so it would be hard to talk. They need to talk today, about Kyungsoo, about himself, about them.

He doesn’t know how he should make Kyungsoo talk though. He has tried all the ways he can and knows of for three years that he doesn’t know what to do anymore. He kinda wishes Kyungsoo will just talk about it without having him trying to coax it out from him.

Two hours passed and Chanyeol still absently strokes Kyungsoo’s hair. It is then that Kyungsoo stirs from his sleep, eyes opening slowly.

Chanyeol smiles softly at Kyungsoo. “Hello..” he greets.

Kyungsoo smiles lightly at Chanyeol, nuzzling his face into Chanyeol’s chest, cuddling closer.

“These three years we are together, I’m always afraid.”

Kyungsoo mumbles against his chest.

Chanyeol is once again, taken off guard by Kyungsoo. Even though he wishes for Kyungsoo to speak about it first, he doesnt expect Kyungsoo to actually do it. Stroking Kyungsoo’s back, Chanyeol hums as an encouragement for him to talk more.

“There has never been a single day that I’m not afraid. Chanyeol you... I’m afraid of you the most. You aren’t getting better... Jongdae he.... Chanyeol he... he’s dea-“

Chanyeol pushes Kyungsoo away from him, his hands holding Kyungsoo by his shoulders as he shakes him lightly.

“What the fuck does Jongdae has anything to do with this???? What the fuck Kyungsoo? He isn’t dead!!”

Chanyeol is practically screaming at this point. He shakes Kyungsoo’s shoulders harder.

“Chanyeol... You saw it.... You know I saw it too... We both saw how he died... 1st April 2017, at 6:00pm we both saw it, Chanyeol.... You murdered him Chanyeol...”

Chanyeol can’t stop himself before he slaps Kyungsoo hard, the smacking sound echos in the room.

“Kyungsoo... you should be glad I love you or else I would have hit your pretty little head with this table lamp over here.” He growls, eyes staring straight at Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo, with the last bit of his strength, pushes Chanyeol away from him before he quickly gets off the bed.

“Then just kill me too!! Just kill me..... it hurts... having to live everyday with my lover’s murderer... we loved each other, Chanyeol.... we were so happy..... but... you killed him...“

Chanyeol looks at Kyungsoo confusedly. He was mad for a second for reasons he doesn’t even know what but now... he’s just confused.... why would he.. kill Jongdae? What kinda nonsense Kyungsoo is talking about?

Getting off bed, Chanyeol approaches Kyungsoo very carefully.

“Babe... baby.... what are you talking about? Is it a bad dream? Did you have bad dream while you were asleep? Hm? Tell me about it... please....”

Chanyeol tries to speak softly to Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo looks like he is losing his mind and Chanyeol is terribly worried about him.

Kyungsoo is crying.

He is crying so hard.

Chanyeol is confused

Why wouldn’t Kyungsoo tell him what’s wrong?

Why is it so hard for Kyungsoo to tell him?

Is it... is it because of Jongdae...?

Chanyeol shakes his head hard. He holds his head with both of his hands as he steps closer to Kyungsoo.

“No.. no... Kyungsoo.... did Jongdae make you sad again? He always knows how to make you upset.... b-but I have killed him? And he’s dead now... he can’t bother you anymore... please don’t cry...” he speaks in a hush tone, as if he’s coaxing a child.

Kyungsoo needs to be protected from any dangers. He is kinda like a child in that aspect. And Jongdae is one of the dangers. Kyungsoo should have known that. He shouldn’t let Jongdae bothers him.

Unless.....

Chanyeol’s eyes widen as he looks at Kyungsoo. He straightens his back as he stands tall, hovering above Kyungsoo.

“What the fuck Kyungsoo!!! Did you cheat on me with Jongdae?!!! But I have killed him! Did you hide his dead body somewhere? So you could have made use of his limp dead dick?!! To satisfy you??!!! You are a fucking whore Kyungsoo! You belong to me!!!! You should have known your place!!”

Chanyeol raises his hand to hit Kyungsoo but the other flinches and moves backward, making Chanyeol hits the air instead.

“And you are avoiding my hit now?!! What the fuck Kyungsoo!!! A whore needs to be punished!!! Do you want me to kill you too??!!! And have you buried together with Jongdae?!!”

Kyungsoo whimpers at those words. He keeps moving backward until his back hits the edge of the corner table in the room.

“Or maybe... I can kill you and cut you into pieces. Blend you together with my protein shake and eat it? How does that sound? Yeah? That way we can be together forever.” Chanyeol bursts out laughing as if that’s the funniest thing he has ever said, or heard.

“Fuck Kyungsoo just the thought of it makes me hard. Shit I really should just kill you. Moan prettily for me when I cut you, yeah?”

Chanyeol grins wide at Kyungsoo as he unzips his pants, kicking it off along with his boxer.

“See what you do to me Kyungsoo? My dick only wants you babe... can’t you see how much I love you? Now come here and be a good slut and suck me off.”

Chanyeol traps Kyungsoo with his long arms as Kyungsoo leans his back against the table. Kyungsoo doesn’t even look at him fuck he’s really mad now. And his dick is hard. Why can’t Kyungsoo just do as he said? It isn’t that hard.

And Kyungsoo is holding something behind his back.. he’s really bad at this whole saving himself thing. Chanyeol really should put him at his place.

With a loud sigh, Chanyeol reaches to Kyungsoo’s hand behind him. “If you want to stab me then do it properly, Soo...” he said softly as he holds Kyungsoo’s wrist to himself, making the sharp knife points at him.

“Now stab me. Do it, Soo.”

Chanyeol smirks as he looks at Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo obviously can’t do it. The shorter guy is shivering so hard, small whimpers escape from him.

Fuck, Chanyeol’s dick twitches at that sight.

Chanyeol holds his dick with his other hand, smearing the precum on his dick as he strokes it slowly.

“Jesus Kyungsoo. You’re so cute. Trying to stab me and all. You just make me even more horny.”

Chanyeol laughs lightly, bringing Kyungsoo’s wrist closer to him, making the pointy end of the knife digs into his skin. The burning sensation feels so great. The blood that trickles slowly from the cut on his tummy makes him feel so hot. It makes him stroke his dick harder.

“I did the first step. Now push it deeper, babe. Hurt me, stab me. Then you and I will be the same. We will both be murderers. Killer couple but like, literally.”

Chanyeol bursts out laughing, he really makes good jokes he’s really proud of himself.

Kyungsoo should be laughing too. But he isn’t. Well whatever, Chanyeol just wants Kyungsoo to push the knife deeper.

Tilting his head, Chanyeol looks at Kyungsoo.

“Baby.. why? Why didn’t you stab me? Stab me babe. Kill me. I’m so close now I’m about to cum.”

Kyungsoo shakes his head vigorously before he lets go of the knife.

Fuck Kyungsoo really knows how to make him mad.

Raising his hand high, he hits Kyungsoo’s head with his palm, sending the smaller male stumbles and falls on the floor.

“If you really want to be a killer, then do it properly!!“ Chanyeol yells before he steps on Kyungsoo’s wrist. His ears fail to hear Kyungsoo screaming despite it being so loud.

He then climbs on top of Kyungsoo, softly stroking Kyungsoo’s cheek. “First kill is always hard, I know, babe. I was like that too when I killed Jongin.”

Kyungsoo looks at him with his eyes wide, seeming both surprised and afraid.

Chanyeol laughs. Kyungsoo’s face is ridiculous, and cute. Mostly cute.

“What? You really think Jongdae is the first man I kill for you? There is a lot others. Let’s see... hmm.. Jongin then Baekhyun... I think... Sehunnie too? Minseokkie hyung is too pretty to be killed so I kinda chop his limbs and kinda mess with his head. Well, he’s at the mental hospital if you want to visit him.”

“And we have Jongdae too now. Which reminds me, maybe I need to kill you too yeah? Maybe slice your face off of your head? And sew it to some doll so I can hug you whenever I want? I promise I will make it less painful for you. I love you anyway.” Chanyeol said that with a wink.

Grabbing the knife from before on the floor, Chanyeol brings it closer to Kyungsoo’s face.

“Since you fail to kill me, I will do it now. Hehehehe.” He snickers as he points the knife to Kyungsoo’s face.

Kyungsoo is struggling in his hold, which is annoying but, if Chanyeol is about to be sliced this way, he would do that too so he isn’t that mad about it.

Just when he starts to stick the pointy end of the knife on Kyungsoo’s forehead, ignoring the smaller male’s scream as he does it, the door of their bedroom is smashed and it is opened by force.

Chanyeol slowly stands, getting off Kyungsoo as he looks at the intruders confusedly.

“Sir, may I know why you guys enter my house so rudely? I was playing with my boyfriend. Ruin the fun for me..” he whines with a small pout on his face.

What a joykiller these blue uniform clad sirs are.

“Park Chanyeol, you are under arrest for murdering Kim Jongin, Byun Baekhyun, Oh Sehun and Kim Jongdae as well as causing serious injury to Kim Minseok and physically and mentally abuse Doh Kyungsoo. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you in court. You have the right to talk to a lawyer for advice before we ask you any questions. You have the right to have a lawyer with you during questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be appointed for you before any questioning if you wish. If you decide to answer questions now without a lawyer present, you have the right to stop answering at any time.”

Chanyeol‘s hands are handcuffed behind his back. He’s still confused with everything that has happened. He doesn’t know any of the names mentioned though?

Well except Kyungsoo?

Wait. Where is Kyungsoo?

Chanyeol looks at the man who cuffed him in panic. “Sir, where is my Kyungsoo? Please tell me where he is. He can’t be alone. He’s afraid of being alone.”

The man only ignores him as he is dragged into the police car.

As he sits quietly in the car while the vehicle is moving to god knows where, did he realize what had just happened.

He laughs manically, bumping his head against the car’s mirror as he laughs.

He never expects himself to be caught by the police. Well, the thought of Kyungsoo probably reporting him to the police for his crimes of murdering Kyungsoo’s past men makes his dick twitches.

And the though of seeing Kyungsoo as the witness while he is being charged for his crimes at the court, makes his dick fully hard.

Guess being arrested isn’t that bad.

\--

**Author's Note:**

> So...... I hope no one wants to kill me?
> 
> Please do leave kudos if you like it and leave comment too!!!
> 
> I LOVE EXO SO MUCH I REALLY DO


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